Everyone who knows me, or who has ever read any of the shit I write, knows enjoyable negativity is my modus operandi. I prefer lifeless sarcasm over enthusiastic cheerfulness, and often wish I’d never started this thing called smiling, like Anna Wintour or Kanye West. Maybe they don’t even have teeth, but we will never know, and that’s glorious. When I smile, you can literally see every tooth in my mouth. It’s handy I guess, in the way that I never have to go to the dentist, I just send him pics of me laughing at one of my own jokes, but still.  On a day-to-day basis, I’d say my hobbies include staring lifelessly into the meaningless void (i.e. out of my bedroom window…