Last Friday was Valentine’s Day. Obviously I didn’t post anything the day of because I was too busy being adored and eating all the chocolates countless boys had sent me. I know it sounds highly unlikely, and that’s because it is. For fuck’s sake, somebody send something to my office already. I don’t care much for barbershop quartet serenades, but if that’s all I can get, then I’ll take it. 

All jokes aside, I actually had something way better going on on this universal day of love: my birthday party. You could say that planning a party on this beautiful day was a bit of a dick move to friends who are actually in a relationship, but honestly, by now they should know that I am a demanding twat and that I don’t really care. You are loved every single day, all I have is literal single days, give me a break.

It was a great night. We danced, drank, sung (the live, laugh, love of your twenties) and it was marvelous. All this bliss, it’ll be the death of me. Thank fuck I still have the rest of the world to feel bad about, because I can’t keep up with this upbeat musical number of a life I’ve got going on right now. I’m one step away from wearing bright colours on a daily basis and unironically telling people the best is yet to come, and I can’t be dealing with that nonsense. This is as good and as bad as it gets, get used to it. Life is meaningless. Happy days.

With Valentine’s over, done and ignored for, I’m finally out of the woods when it comes to these start of year days-I-should-be-celebrating-avec-boyfriend. I survived Christmas and New Year’s, easily made it through the 25th of January (casual reminder to mark your calendars for next year) and danced away Valentine’s Day by making it another day all about me. God, is there a job where I can just make things about me and get paid for it? I live for that shit. Definitely one of the reasons I’m getting married two to four times.  

Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it’s not only the start of the year that I’ve sorted out. I’m pretty sure that’s every important day in 2020 accounted for. It really is great to have all these obligations out of the way before hoeing season starts. In like a few months, but whatever.

And it’s not like I’m good at it, but whatever that, too. A girl can dream.