Posted on January 13, 2020
Boy, did I miss the boat on writing a 2019 Summed Up post or what. Lucky for you, I don’t really give a shit about calendars – or anything, really – so I’m just going to blatantly ignore that we’re a full two weeks into 2020 and do it now. Maybe you don’t care much for my wishes and blessings anymore, but whatever, like those New Year’s kisses from your gropey Uncle, you’re getting them anyway.
The reason I missed the boat (more like float) on the whole end of year-stuff is pretty straightforward: I was busy at work, and then busy in life. I have/had the best job ever, and then I had to get ready for the big move. You will be pleased/surprised/indifferent to hear that I am now no longer a Sad Girl on a farm, but fully and completely a Sad Girl in the city. (That actually kind of has a ring to it, doesn’t it? If this depressing lack of hook-ups in my life doesn’t pick up in the next couple of months – which it inevitably won’t – I might have to change the name of this blog into Sad Girl & the Shitty. Food for thought.) Shout-out to my two incredible roommates and the feminist art in my room; I love you all so very much.
As for 2019, well. You know I’m generally not in the habit of being positive about things, but it has been a fantastic year. As it feels weird and unnatural to just sit here and spread happy thoughts, I will keep it short and sweet: I did the best internships, landed a dream job, met the most incredible people, moved to the perfect house with two of my best friends ànd went on the full one date. I’d hate me, too.
I don’t know what will happen in 2020. I’m starting a great new job, so that’s another way in which my life is actually going way too well. For the rest, I haven’t made any resolutions about becoming a better person or anything, because that is all huge bullshit. Listen to me, you’re already a great person, and more importantly, so am I. You don’t need to change this year, you are okay. Unless of course you’re a racist, homophobic, sexist and ignorant fucktard, then you should really change. But the rest of you, for the love of God, you’re NOT fat. Whatever you do, shoot your shot, baby, this is the scoring twenties.
I know this was all a bit too great, but not to worry. I just found the archetype of the softboi on Tinder, and I am bound to break my own heart with this one. Also, I read a crappy horoscope that said I would be stressed out and alone until at least September, so there will be a lot of Sex & the Shitty in 2020.
Wonder if there ever will be a day where I get to end that sentence at ‘sex’. Anyway, happy New Year!
you’d better break your heart with me… instead of with the tinder sh°°
The horoscope knew covid19 would happen