You know how some people are just like good luck charms? They got Fortune on their side everywhere they go. They never miss a bus, always get home just before the rain, and more than once have they gotten 11 nuggets in their 10-pack. Yeah, I’m not one of those people. Instead of extra nuggets, I’m more of a ‘trash birds sneak up on me and steal the lunch out of my hands’ kind of person. I don’t really mind – I mean, I’m still a privileged white girl living in Australia, so how unlucky can you really call yourself (although I was really sad about that burger, not going to lie) – but lately, my unlucky charm-ness seems to be spreading, influencing natural forces. Still on the farm, the rain season hasn’t started yet, every plant I touch, dies, and there haven’t been as many snakes around in the last couple of months as in the few weeks I have been here. It’s probably all coincidence, but it did land me the nickname of Snake Magnet – which is not the best name, but I reckon it could be worse. The irony is a bit painful, but who am I to argue with the Universe, right?

Same goes for a few months ago; I went travelling with my friends, and we went snorkelling along the Great Barrier Reef. One of the main attractions was swimming with this massive, ugly, supposedly very friendly fish. Freaked out when the thing swam right beneath me, I yelled holy shit so loudly you could hear it all the way up to the boat. The guy supervising us thought that was so funny, he decided to throw some bait straight at me. George – the apparently very hùngry very big fish – got so excited, he confused my hand with his snack. It started to bleed pretty badly – just what you want in the middle of the ocean – and the dude was pretty surprised when I told him. It literally, in all those years, had never happened before, but hey, someone has to be the first one. I got some tiny scars on my hand to show for it, and I guess it makes for a good story now, but I can assure you, I was crying somewhat hysterically in my snorkel back then.

Today I found snake #4 – if you don’t count the one I saw slithering away from my doorstep in the middle of the night. Four snakes in about four weeks, I would say I’m keeping up a good average – and you know it’s all about keeping up your reputation. Speaking of Reputation, let’s hope this is just Miss Karma, Taylor Swift herself, sending me all kinds of signals she’ll be in touch with me. On the other hand, maybe my little cousin has been right all along: I can attract literally anything anywhere, except for a good boyfriend.