The big book of Shit Guys Say is long and forever growing. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s boring, sometimes it makes me want to bitch slap them across the face. The latest portion of Guy Wisdom I was served, this time by my Mystery Man/Twins/Hollywood Actor/Leprechaun – because obviously they think their book is called Undeniable and Must-Know Male Truths – is now my new favourite: “Treat them mean to keep them keen.” I can easily categorise this with the tags dumb, funny, and honey, please, but I do realise it is a real thing. I told my Whatever He Is to piss off if that’s his idea of treating girls, because I will not stick around for shit like that – no worries though, he made it up to me. However, how much I wish it wasn’t so, it became clear again that dating is one big game – and even if I haven’t decided yet if I’m willing to play, you should know that I’m better at it than you.

I want to dedicate this blog to all my girls out there being treated meanly, to all my gals being left on read, to all my bad bitches waiting for some fuckboy to realise you are the best thing that could have ever happened to them; you deserve the motherfucking world, and you don’t need a guy to make that happen for you. I’m not saying you should stay single forever –  there’s bound to be some good guys left, somewhere (possibly/probably the Amazon Rainforest) – I’m just saying it’s time to stop waiting around for a dude that doesn’t appreciate you. Like a needle in a haystack, it’s hard to find a good dick in a stack of dicks, and it takes time and effort to go through them all. Cut a guy that takes for granted that you are a fucking 10, you got better things to do than wait for his sorry ass – we’re businesswomen, writers, doctors, lawyers, and chicken nugget scientists, ain’t nobody got time for that shit.

This may seem a bit arrogant or over-confident, but I’m just trying to put into words what I’ve been trying to tell all my girlfriends here. Stop taking crap from guys – or anyone for that matter. I literally believe that it’s a privilege for a guy if they get to sleep with me, and I make it a personal goal to walk around every day as if my ass is God’s gift to Mankind. It’s alright to know what you want and settle for nothing less; it’s also alright to not know what you want and find out along the way – even if that takes what seems like forever. You’ve got time. In the meantime, keep sorting through that hay, and don’t forget that two can play that game.