Database of the Undateable
Posted on May 25, 2017
Sometimes you’re ahead in life, sometimes you’re not. Sometimes you get asked out once a day, sometimes once a year. For me it has been the latter, until I went on this one date. Now it’s the former. It’s as if there’s something like The Big Boy Database that keeps track of the (un)dateable girls (or boys, but I can’t speak for them) out there. I feel like I had been stashed in some forgotten folder in folder in folder and now that some guy has dared to take me out once, I have been relocated to the Recently Viewed file. Suddenly, there’s heaps of guys entertaining conversations with me, asking me to meet up. I’m still very much the same girl, but there must be something in the Boy Universe that has changed. I must have now become a Dateable Girl.
There’s a few guys out there that I’d love to go out on a date with. There’s the Possible Fuckboy who insists on getting together, but doesn’t really make plans. I don’t really want to go out with him – I’m pretty sure I can drop the Possible I have so graciously granted him – but I feel like it would make a great story. Plus, a girl’s gotta eat, right? There’s the Legit Nice Guy Who Might Also Just Want To Fuck Me But I’m Going To Give Him The Benefit Of The Doubt who keeps sending me hilarious text messages. Next up is the English Lad, who honestly, I just want to go out with to listen to him talk. And last but not least, Jock Guy Who Probably Just Wants To Fuck Me But Who Is So So Hot I’m Lowkey Considering It. How incredibly shallow of me. I love it.
You see, if all goes well, I’ve got a busy schedule for the next couple of weeks. You can’t really blame me though. I need to make the most of this unforeseen file switch. I could be back into the old folder before you know it.